Love You, Love You Not
by Karrae
Summary: M/Z It's at chapter five now.
1. Max

Disclaimers: I own nothing.  
Setting: Some time before the final episode of season one (I was less then thrilled with that).  
  
Love you, Love you not  
  
Max sat as high as she could get without a plane, her eyes on the city below, but her mind focused on the turmoil within. When she first met Logan Cale she had been thrown off her game, thrown so far off in fact that he managed to confirm his suspicions about who she was. After that she'd been determined not to let him get to her. It turned out to be an easy task... on the surface. His desire to save the world and willingness to risk her life to do that should have been enough to keep her from giving him her friendship, much less her heart. Should have been.   
  
"Max!" The voice broke through her contemplation, startling her to the point that for a second she thought that she was going to lose her balance and have to make a rather embarrassing move to save herself from falling off her perch. An old saying ran though her mind as she got a better look at the person who had startled her; 'speak of the devil'. Logan stood on the roof behind her, keeping well away from the edges. Max fought down the desire to snap at him, she was beginning to wish that she'd never brought him up there. It was her place, where she went to be alone. She'd shared it with him because it was special to her, not because she wanted him following her there. No doubt he'd brought mission plans with him too.  
  
"I tried calling you." He frowned, "You should leave your pager on, this really can't wait, if I hadn't found you here..." Max was doing her best not to look guilty. She had, in fact, received his message. His place was her next stop, but she'd been distracted and more time had passed then she'd thought. There was a second feeling just below the guilt though. There was a hint of anger with him for following her to her sanctuary, of all places, with work.  
  
"... So, you see, it's absolutely imperative that we retrieve the disk." Logan finished. 'Another week, another crisis' Max thought as she frowned at the man before her and said flatly "You mean imperative that I retrieve the disk. It's my neck on the line". Actually Max was kind of looking forward to kicking some butt, she had gotten bored with her temporarily action-free life days ago. The anger prevented her from just accepting the assignment though and gave voice to her usual resentment with the situation.   
  
Logan's frown deepened "I don't think you understand how important this is." He said in a tone that meant he was moments away from becoming preachy. Max recognized the signs but pushed ahead anyway, "Important to who? Not to me. Not to most anyone down there", Max gestured to the city below.  
  
"Every criminal we stop brings us closer to reclaiming what this country once was, everyone wants that." Max stared at him, remembering how happy she had been when everything collapsed, leaving her free to find a place in the new world, leaving her in a better position to avoid Lydecker's men. "When was the last time you really talked with the people that you're trying to save?" She asked, deciding to go with an argument that wasn't so personal to her, "People don't like change, and now that they're adapted to the way things are they aren't going to want to have things change again".  
  
Logan stood a little straighter and was just about to begin on what was most likely going to be a long lecture when Max took off past him, stopping at the door only to give him an impatient look and ask "Are you coming?" She really didn't want to hear it, especially now, she had more important concerns, like how had she let herself be so distracted that he'd managed to startle her at all? Maybe Zack was right... but then she didn't want to think about Zack, it was safer to think about Logan. Safer to love Logan. If she loved Logan? A part of her whispered doubts, telling her that maybe it was the idea of being in love that held her to Logan... maybe...  
  
___________________________  
Notes: As you can no doubt clearly see, the above is why I usually don't write. In fact this is the first thing I've ever written that wasn't a school assignment. Anyway, tell me what you think, good or bad... and if I should actually finish it... Oh, and I don't really have a big problem with Logan or anything, just trying to find reasons and ways to break them up because I like Zack more.  



	2. Zack

Love You, Love You Not- chapter 2  
  
He'd walked in just in time to see her kissing Logan.  
  
Zack scowled at the fork in his hand as though he saw the man he had so come to hate reflected across its surface. The fork didn't stand a chance. Placing the now twisted metal back on his plate and ignoring the stare of the waitress he returned his attention to the problem at hand. He had to leave. There was no way he was going to stick around to watch the happy couple drool over each other. Besides, he had responsibilities to the others.   
  
He paused, "Who am I kidding?" Zack thought. "If Max wanted me around, The others could take care of themselves, and I would be by her side. The others are important, but Max is more important." She was the only thing he cared about besides his duty as CO. Not that he'd ever stop watching over the others, he'd just be watching a little less often, a little less closely, that's all. Besides, if they got in trouble they had the contact number.  
  
It didn't matter though that he was willing to break from his training to be around more, Max didn't want him. She had already made it perfectly clear that she thought of him as a brother, nothing more. As though he didn't hate Lydecker enough already the man had gone and taught the woman he loved more then his own life to think of him as a sibling. He didn't blame her, of course. It was something that he had struggled with at first as well. Telling himself that she was his 'sister' and that he loved her but wasn't in love with her. Those lies were long dead; he spent too much time on the road with no one but himself for company to be able to hide from the truth for long. Besides, the fact was that she wasn't his sister. They shared history, not parents.  
  
A shadow fell across the table and Zack looked up at the waitress who had apparently finally worked up enough courage to bring him the bill. He picked it up, reading it to make sure it hadn't been padded. Not that he begrudged them the few extra dollars; he hadn't really even been hungry when he'd decided to stop there. A kid was running around screaming his head off. A testament to just how bad the food was. He was stalling now and knew it. This was the last restaurant on the way out of the city, Max's city.   
  
He stood, tossing some money by his plate. He wasn't sure when he'd be back and he fought against the part of him that wanted to stay and fight for her. He hadn't even told Max that he was leaving, he wondered if she'd notice. Probably not. She was probably to busy with the self-obsessed cripple.   
  
He'd be back, of that he had no doubt, and he hoped that by then he'd have enough control to at least restrain himself from trying to kill her boyfriend. She'd never forgive him for that. And life wasn't worth living without her.  
_____________________________  
  
Notes: I know, lacking in the romance that the genre promised. I'll get there, hopefully. I'll get there because I'm a sap and that leads to the writing of sappy stories. 


	3. Logan

  
Logan sat in front of his computer intent on his work. Or at least that's how things appeared. Actually he was studying Max in the reflection of a rather convenient mirror. She was unhappy. Whenever he asked her about it, she denied it, but she couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes all the time. She wasn't even trying to at the moment. He had no idea what was wrong, she wouldn't tell him, and there was nothing new in their lives to account for her mood. He had a horrible suspicion that it might have something to do with Zack's recent absence. He had certainly noticed it (and with no small amount of joy), so that meant that she had to have noticed by now. Maybe she missed him.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Max's voice interrupted the flood of fear and insecurity he felt as he considered the possibility that maybe Max DID miss her...brother?, that maybe she wasn't quite as adamant about their relationship in her heart as she was in her head. "Uh, no, everything's fine." he smiled weakly at her hoping that he wasn't as transparent to her as she was to him.  
  
The completely disbelieving look she was giving him mecilessly sunk that hope, and he searched desperately for a change of topic.  
"It's just about time to start dinner, what do you want?"  
He wasn't ready to talk to her about her relationship with Zack, he wasn't sure that he really wanted to know.  
"I don't care, what do you want to have?" Max headed for the kitchen, wanting to avoid the serious conversation Logan's expression suggested.  
  
________________________  
  
Notes: Shortest chapter yet. Next chapter will be longer though, and Zack'll come back. It might take me a while to get to writing though, I just got a job, imagin, me, working... 


	4. Return

Zack had been standing outside the building for a good 30 minutes debating whether or not he should just leave and come back later... much later. He had spent the last three months on the road preparing himself for this moment. The moment when he walked back into Max's life and found out for certain that she didn't need him and that she was living in a state of complete bliss with the love of her life. He took a moment to imagine the untimely death of that man, for all that he knew that he would never have the satisfaction of acting on it.  
  
Max frowned at the clock and quickly checked to see if he was still standing out there. He was. Was he ever actually planning on knocking? Maybe she should just save herself from this agonizing waiting, give in, and open it. She sat down tensely in a chair reminding herself of why she hadn't opened it in the first place, she needed to know if he would come back to her on his own.  
  
'How bad could it be?' Zack instantly regretted the thought as his mind was suddenly filled with a number of worst-case scenarios, all ending with his already trampled heart in pieces on the ground. 'Pull yourself together solider. Knocking on a door doesn't even begin to compare with the things you've been through'. Zack straightened and faced the door with an expression of determination one would expect to see on the face of a man going to war. He knocked.  
  
"Finally!" Max exclaimed as she launched off the couch and threw open the door.  
  
'Finally? What does she mean by...' Zack's thought was cut off by the vision in the doorway.  
  
The "vision" was having trouble deciding if she was going to through herself at him because he was finally back, or just through a fist at him because it had taken him three long months.  
  
__________________  
  
Note: He he. I hope there aren't too many people keeping up with this. No one is organizing a lynch mob or anything because I left it hanging like this.... right? I'll write more, probably, eventually. 


	5. Reception

Max stood frozen in indecision at her doorway.  
  
"I thought I'd stop by and see how you were doing... I was, uh, in town" Zack shifted nervously wondering why she wasn't saying anything.  
  
"Oh. Um, come in." Max stepped back and Zack walked past her into the apartment with an air of confidence that he wasn't feeling.  
  
"You've been gone for a while." Max glared at him.  
  
"I had things to take care of." Zack replied in what he hoped was an off-handed manner that would make the topic seem boring and keep her from asking for any specifics.  
  
"Things?" Max leaned against the door frame and studied him. He was hiding something, this wasn't just his usual desire to keep the conversation off of himself.  
  
"So... where's Logan?" Zack asked and regretted it the second it was out. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid. You don't want to talk about the situation so you change the topic to something that is even more directly related to it?!! And what if she starts talking about how wonderful everything is?? You're just asking for heartbreak!'  
  
"We broke up nearly two months ago." Max said flatly, "Can I get you something to drink? Why don't you sit down?"  
  
'Broke up?! Two months ago?!!' Zack felt like he was flying. "That's... too bad." He said insincerely.  
  
"What?" Max had completely missed Zack's... condolences... being distracted by the way the huge smile on his face lit up his blue eyes and made her heart skip a beat. Max had seldom seen him smile and she decided then and there to make it her newest personal mission.  
  
"I said that it's too bad." It was a slightly more sympathetic tone but Max had no trouble picking up on how pleased Zack was with her breakup. Not that it was a huge surprise, he had certainly made no secret of his feelings about Logan.  
  
"I knew you'd be devastated." Max said sarcastically. "Did you ever think that maybe I'm really hurt by this? That I could use your support? Real support, not words of sympathy that you clearly don't even mean."  
  
"... I'm sorry. I didn't really think about it. Are you alright?"   
  
"Of course. It's not like we were in love or anything. That's not the point." Max glared.  
  
Zack remained silent unsure of what he was supposed to say now. She seemed to be angry at him but he couldn't fathom a reason why. Max too remained silent though her glare lost most of it's intensity after a few minutes.  
  
"I missed you." Max said softly, so softly that Zack almost didn't hear it.  
  
______________________________  
  
Note: Look't all that dialogue. I tend to not write huge amounts of dialogue but there it is. Wow do things progress slowly with me doing the writing. They'll maybe be a couple by chapter 81 the way I'm going. Actually. I'm thinking one more chapter, two at the most. Anyway. Finally I wrote. Someone reviewed it today (killed my excuse that there was no need to worry because by now no one is keeping track). 


End file.
